You know what they say: success is the best revenge. At first glance, the motto makes sense — ’tis better to focus your energy on something productive and meaningful after a disappointing defeat than to drown your sorrows in 12 cartons of ice cream. However, while I agree with this sentiment to an extent, the use of the word “revenge” makes me a little uneasy in this case. Let me explain why.
A lot of people use the phrase “success is the best revenge” after a difficult breakup. These are the generally the kinds of people who like to set goals and base their self worth in their achievements. The extra time spent focusing on the relationship is now shifted to other areas of their lives, such as academics or careers — which is a perfectly healthy way to cope — but in the back of their minds, there’s always the idea that by becoming successful, they are spiting the person they broke up with.
I notice this with girls especially all the time. For example, one girl might kick up her exercise routine after a breakup, but instead of doing it for her own personal fulfillment, she motivates herself with the idea that “when he sees how good I look, he’s going to wish we never broke up.” Others may confide in their friends that they want their exes to see just how happy they are without them.
In my opinion, an ex’s perception of your happiness shouldn’t even factor in to the decisions you make. The relationship is over for a reason, and any time you do something with the intention of making your ex regret the breakup (no matter how noble your actions are), you are only hurting yourself more. By all means, you should focus on self-improvement and empowerment after a painful event in your life, but don’t do it to get back at the other person.
Ultimately, revenge is the worst revenge. Succeed because you want to succeed! 🙂