Please don’t get me wrong – I’m not a complete Scrooge when it comes to relationships, even if my blog may lead you to believe otherwise. Like most other girls my age, I watch more chick flicks than I’m proud of, and of course I hope for my happily ever after. I’m not anti-grand gestures either, so long as they aren’t the results of constant fighting and dysfunction. If you want to declare your love for somebody in a big way, then by all means, you should.
But I’m still not on board with the whole “flash mob proposal” bit. For those who haven’t seen these on YouTube before (click here), a flash mob consists of a large, seemingly random group of strangers who suddenly break into dance and/or song in front of a group of unsuspecting passersby. Flash mobs contain elements of surprise and excitement (unless, of course, you watch Grimm, in which case they are simply a horrible cause of death), which have contributed to their popularity since 2009 or so. In the past few years, however, some men have integrated the flash mob into their own marriage proposals, involving other guests in the restaurant and people walking by on the street. When it is finally time for him to pop the question, the woman must answer in front of a crowd of perhaps hundreds of people.
I know a lot of girls who find this incredibly romantic, but while I appreciate the amount of effort that goes into a flash mob proposal, I can’t say I would ever want to be a recipient of something like that. After all, what if the woman doesn’t want to marry the guy proposing to her? What if she says “no” and flees the scene – what then? Even worse, what if she says “yes” because she feels an added pressure to marry him, but isn’t actually ready or willing to make that commitment? This also applies to big-screen proposals at major sporting events and other proposals that require an audience.
In a way, I get it. Flash mob proposals are (kind of) original and demonstrate just how far the person is willing to go to impress his significant other. But what comes after the proposal? Come to think of it, how much money are you going to spend or want someone to spend on a proposal? Even if it is true love, does it have to be so elaborate? To me, a few honest words are more important than any choreographed song and dance number, and the money you could have spent on a marching band and light show could instead be used for a down payment on a house. Saying “I do” or “I don’t and never will” should have nothing to do with an audience of expectant strangers and everything to do with where you see yourself in five, ten, fifty years..
In the end, these grand gestures are well-intentioned, but not nearly as important as the little things we may otherwise overlook.