Predictions for the Season 10 Premiere of ‘The Bachelorette’

andiAfter 12 years on the air, The Bachelor franchise has definitely perfected its charade of attractive young people finding love (and getting a Neil Lane ring out of it) on national television. The show returns on May 19 with assistant district attorney Andi Dorfman at the helm, but she does not come without her own controversy after walking out on Juan Pablo Galavis (a.k.a. America’s Most Hated Bachelor) after their night in the Fantasy Suite.

Because of the formulaic nature of the show, I’d like to make a few predictions about what will undoubtedly happen on Andi’s upcoming season premiere. (Please keep in mind that I have not read any spoilers or conducted any research on this season’s contestants – this is entirely for fun!) Feel free to add your own predictions in the comments section below.

  • Opening scenes will include footage of Atlanta (Andi’s hometown), Andi in a courtroom and Andi outside doing something that will make her seem fun and adorable to viewers.
  • Andi will talk about all of the wonderful things she has in her life, but how much better her life would be if only she had someone to share it with. This will serve as a voiceover as Andi either skips rocks across the water, sits pensively in a meadow, stares out a window or walks through the busy streets (surrounded by people but still feeling very alone, of course).
  • Andi will “prepare” for her time on the show with a popular former cast member, either the previous Bachelorette (Des) or perhaps a few memorable contestants she befriended last season.
  • At least once throughout the episode, Andi or host Chris Harrison will use a law-related metaphor to describe Andi’s search for love.
  • At least one of the contestants will be an attorney.
  • At least one of the contestants will impersonate Juan Pablo upon exiting the limo, most likely by inserting his phrase “Ees okay.”
  • Several of the contestants will sit in the house and discuss everything Juan Pablo did wrong on his season of The Bachelor, and how they are all much better people than he is. They will also rave about how Andi is even prettier in person.
  • Tension will arise between at least two of the men on the house on that very first night.
  • One man will make a positive entrance that sets him apart from the rest of the men, who will talk about him negatively for the rest of the night. If he makes it past this episode, he will likely be established as the season’s Resident Villain (who is there for All The Wrong Reasons).
  • Andi will announce at some point in the evening, either to the cameras or to the men as a whole, that she thinks her future husband might be in the room.
  • During or after the rose ceremony, Andi will make a speech about being open to love and excited to share the journey with each of these contestants.
  • Andi will eliminate at least two memorable contestants, likely the ones with the most bizarre entrances.
  • Several of the eliminated men will cry or at least tear up, even though they have only known Andi for an hour or two, and will lament that this was their only chance at finding love.

Who knows? Maybe there will be more predictions as the season wears on! 🙂 In the meantime, add your own to the comments section below and feel free to use this blog as a checklist when the episode airs.

Happy viewing!

How To Win “The Bachelor”

bachelor-juan-pablo-galavisIt’s Monday night, and for many of us (read: women across the country between the ages of 18-49), that means it’s time to tune into the latest episode of The Bachelor. Now, I have not disillusioned myself into believing that this is the ideal way to entrap attract your ideal mate, but I’ll admit that the show can be incredibly addictive, even if you aren’t enamored with bachelor du jour Juan Pablo Galavais.

On each season of The Bachelor, grown women cry when a man they barely know (but have determined is the only man for them) decides he doesn’t feel an immediate connection and sends them home without a rose. Of course, much heartache and suffering could be spared if these women learned the ins and outs of wooing America’s bachelor. Luckily, through several viewings, I have been able to unlock the code for winning The Bachelor competition, and I’m sharing the wealth with you! Ladies, if you’re thinking of auditioning for The Bachelor, look no further. This guide will guarantee you airtime and at least a spot in the final four, if not a proposal.

You do not talk about winning The Bachelor.
Although The Bachelor is, in fact, a dating competition, you are not supposed to acknowledge this. To do so is a HUGE betrayal to both the Bachelor himself and to the other contestants, who will personally take offense to the fact that you see them as competition. Instead, befriend everyone to a degree, and look down upon anyone who says, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to find love.” This person will emerge as the season’s villain, and will rarely win.

courtney-the-bachelorYou DO NOT talk about winning The Bachelor.
Seriously, must I repeat myself?

Have a cliché catchphrase that is SO you.
My favorite is, “You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl.” Wear a sundress with cowboy boots and find a meadow to stroll through while you say this, because it creates a nice visual that viewers will find charming, feminine and nonthreatening.

Turn your dates into metaphors.
Going cliff-diving? Tell the camera crews that you can’t wait to “take the plunge” or “take a leap of faith” with The Bachelor. Spending the night in a dark cave? “___ has made me see the light.” Be creative but not too creative – your metaphors should be accurate, but still somewhat predictable in relation to the date itself. The more you are able to do this, the more airtime the producers will give you, so that even if The Bachelor doesn’t fall in love with you, America will.

the-bachelorMake dramatic confessions that aren’t that dramatic.
It is important to “open up” in a serious but not too serious way. For example, tell The Bachelor that you have a confession to make, and then confess that your parents have been married for 30 years and that you want a marriage like theirs. You can brush on family life and loosely discuss past relationships, but avoid any mention of political beliefs, religion, or anything else that could cause discomfort. Instead, wait until he proposes and then let it slip out when your families meet.

Be memorable, but not too memorable.
Quirkiness can come across as adorable, but you can only take it so far. There is a difference between “Zooey Deschanel–quirky” and “I am growing a mustache on purpose and I have a pet possum” quirky. Try to avoid the latter.

the-bachelor-lindsay-shows-up-in-wedding-dress-shocks-sean-455x422Stock up on evening-wear and casual “I put 4 hours into looking effortless and low maintenance” outfits.
This shows that you can be the graceful trophy wife he’ll want to show off to all of his friends, but that you’re also laidback and “up for anything.” Buy as many evening gowns and cocktail dresses as you can, because you will be seen in them and you can’t wear the same thing twice on television.

Stay out of the drama.
As soon as you tattle on one of the other girls (even if she is 100 percent wrong), you will be sent home – or, at the very least, you will be the last to receive a rose in that night’s ceremony. Even worse, the girl you’ve told on will likely receive the rose before you do! If you think that someone is doing something wrong, encourage one of your “friends” in the house to tell on her instead!

Fall for him immediately.
It doesn’t matter that he’s two feet shorter in person than you imagined him. It doesn’t matter that you have nothing of substance to talk about. It doesn’t matter that he embodies most, if not all, of your pet peeves. As a contestant on the show, you are not allowed to have an opinion on these things. Because of this, you need to envision a future with The Bachelor immediately and talk about it a lot when interviewed.

Worst case, you can always tragically exit from the show and become the next Bachelorette! 🙂

Spoiler Alert: Next Season on ‘The Real World’

1333904005936_3463943After a week-long reality TV binge, I discovered an entirely new talent worth pursuing: casting for MTV shows. Although I lack the personality traits of the typical reality show contestant, I have watched enough to know how to handpick the perfect cast.

Because of this, I would like to provide my own guide on how to select seven strangers to live in a house, have their lives taped and stop being polite/start getting real.

1. Everyone should have an affinity for going out and drinking. Potential cast members, this is the time when you should talk about your love for tequila shots in an interview. If you like to stay in some nights and curl up with a book, you are clearly in the minority of all people between the ages of 18 and 24 and therefore shouldn’t even audition. You should be ashamed of yourself.

2. Make sure that one cast member has been sheltered for most of her life, and likely to make naive comments. This person is likely to bring a lot of the comic relief to the show, albeit unintentionally.

3. Choose one member of the LGBTQ community, and one person who is “uncomfortable” with homosexuality. This person is probably from the South. This person may also overlap with the person from #2, and his/her discomfort may border on bigotry. The two will probably share a bedroom.

real-world-logo4. Select one cast member who is in a committed relationship. The other cast members will mock this person when they find out she (it’s always a “she”) doesn’t plan on hooking up while on the show. She will claim to love her boyfriend, but they will either break up preemptively because of their perceived long-distance relationship problems (mini rant: um, hello? you will only be long-distance for two months at most, so just chill out and enjoy a new city for a change!) or she will cheat on him with one of the other housemates.

5. Select one cast member who wants to be single and vows never to date any of the housemates. This person will fall in love within the first two weeks of the show.

6. The more explosive the personality, the better. Pick cast members who “tell it like it is” and aren’t afraid to confront each other.
7. Look for at least one person with serious emotional issues. Instead of referring him or her to a professional, cast this person on your show. He or she will quickly reveal his or her deepest secrets with the other roommates in a matter of days.

8. Select at least one male cast member who is clearly only in it to get girls. Chances are, he will bring a lot of young ladies back to the house, where they will make a mockery of themselves and maybe even boost ratings.

9. Select at least one cast member with a dark and hidden past. He or she will share this information with the cameras on Day One, but act completely shocked when he or she learns that the whole world is about to find out his or her secret.

10. Leave them in a house together with access to only certain bars, restaurants, stores and attractions. The drama will unfold on its own – no scripting required!

Readers, am I missing any of the core casting rules? Who would you look to cast?

What If “The Bachelorette” Realistically Portrayed Relationships?

931245_581100941922086_1773207484_nThis week on The Bachelorette, Desiree treated the men to a group date with rapper Soulja Boy, where they filmed their very own rap music video parodying the show’s earlier seasons’ contestants. This group date, although entertaining to watch, was probably one of the more ridiculous dates ever filmed on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, and this is coming from a girl who already thinks the show is bananas. (The whole time, I not-so-secretly hoped that Desiree would give the rose to Soulja Boy, and that they would ride off into the sunset together in the convertible that ABC gave her for the show.) Meanwhile, on the first one-on-one date, Desiree exhibited stage-five clinger behavior by wearing a wedding dress for the afternoon. As someone who is not a total cynic when it comes to relationships, and for whom marriage may one day be on the horizon (albeit a horizon on a distant planet that hasn’t been discovered yet), I would like to warn men everywhere that if a woman wears a wedding dress on the first date, it may be wise to change one’s phone number. But I digress…

Reality dating shows are never realistic. We accept this as fact from the moment we begin watching, and so when we learn that the Bachelor du jour and his pretty blonde administrative assistant fiancee have called it quits just months after taping, we are not even remotely surprised. We’ve been expecting this the entire time.

brad-womack-proposes-to-emily-on-the-bachelor-march-2011I’ve been observing the mockery that shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette make of dating and relationships. They follow the same basic formula: A woman meets 25 attractive men, goes on adventurous dates that are somehow metaphors for the relationship, converses with them about what love means and what their past relationships were like, whittles it down to a few top contenders and chooses her final match while an 80s love song plays in the background. The men in the house create their own drama, ultimately ganging up on the one man who seems to want the other men out of the picture. The conversations are superficial at best, and the word “engagement” becomes synonymous with “dating someone exclusively and not ruling out an eventual marriage.”

Of course, these shows are purely for entertainment… but what if they weren’t? What if shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette actually portrayed a budding relationship more accurately?

The show would go something like this: A woman meets 25 men. Some of them are attractive in a generic sense, some are not as traditionally handsome but interesting enough in a way that she finds especially attractive, and some are just not her type but are worth a shot. On the first night, she eliminates several of the men because, while briefly dating them might be nice, she can tell that the long-term potential isn’t there, and she doesn’t want to waste their time by making them sit through a few more doomed weeks on the show. Her first dates with each of the contestants are extravagant and fun, but as the show wears on, the conversations become more serious, and instead of having endless discussions about “love” and trying to vaguely define it, they discuss their interests, goals (not just family-oriented, but personal goals too), preferred parenting methods… and perhaps, eventually, taboo topics like religion and politics.

JEF, EMILY MAYNARDNot all of the men fall immediately in love with her, and some will leave the show on their own accord because they don’t see a future. Some are there to take advantage. The woman may weed some of those out, but a few may slip through the cracks.

Not all of the dates are wildly glamorous – some include movie nights and grocery shopping and day-to-day tasks that normal, non-TV couples have to endure. The woman’s friends may meet the contestants at one point and provide their own two cents, because sometimes there are red flags in relationships that we are unable to see. On one date, the woman takes a contestant to an important work event in order to see how he interacts with her co-workers and how he would behave at these functions if they dated long-term.

Occasionally, the woman may argue with the contestants, but this doesn’t cause her to send them packing. Arguments are normal; the way they are dealt with determines whether or not the woman will keep the contestant around.

The woman says “I love you” when she feels ready, not when she is contractually obligated to do so. She sends all but one man home when she knows whom she cares for the most and sees the most potential with. (She doesn’t need to send three men to the fantasy suite before deciding!) The show does not end in an engagement, because they haven’t known each other long enough to commit to something so serious, but the dates do give her an idea of how they would behave in a relationship together.

Of course, none of this would ever last for more than a season because it would hit too close to home! Maybe we like to suspend disbelief for two hours a week, so that we can observe these snapshots of “love” without letting it border too closely to our own relationships. What would your version of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette entail?

The Weekend Five: Unhealthy Relationships on Television

As busy as I may be throughout the semester, I happen to be an avid TV viewer. I’m not ashamed of my silly television habits, and many readers will note that I love to discuss some of the fictional (and non-fictional!) characters in relation to my beliefs about dating, ambition and more. Today’s blog focuses on the less healthy relationships that have been recently portrayed on television, some of which are fan favorites, and my thoughts on each pairing. 🙂 Enjoy!

The Weekend Five: Unhealthy Relationships on Television

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1. Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl.
Don’t get me wrong… I used to love this couple (when I was seventeen). When the show first planted the idea of Blair, the scheming Queen B of the Upper East Side, and Chuck, the wealthy and womanizing bad boy, a part of me thought that the pairing was just crazy enough to work out. I enjoyed watching as their relationship developed, with both characters struggling to admit their true feelings for one another, but after the second season or so, things took a turn for the crazy. Chuck traded Blair for a hotel, hooked up with a character’s younger sister on the night he planned to propose, and even became physically abusive to Blair, who ultimately married and divorced a Monaguesque prince. A relationship this rocky is not worth the time or heartache; in fact, both characters thrive when they aren’t together. Personally, I believe that Chuck needs to go through a ton of rehab, and that Blair is much better off with Dan Humphrey, her best friend and intellectual equal. (As a couple, Dan Humphrey and Serena van der Woodsen are a close second for unhealthy couples!)

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2. Ryan Howard and Kelly Kapoor from The Office.This couple was hilarious to watch throughout the show’s run, but definitely not a “healthy” relationship. Kelly herself was one of my favorite characters while she was still on the show, probably because of her knack for the dramatic (ie: faking pregnancy or swallowing a tapeworm to lose weight), and Ryan’s pretentious behavior was enough to make you love to hate him. While Kelly constantly latched on to Ryan, Ryan only showed enough interest to keep her around. In fact, when Kelly moves to Miami, Ohio, with her new pediatrician boyfriend, Ryan moves there as well (seemingly to get her back). In real life, this kind of relationship would be troublesome, but on the small screen, Kelly and Ryan are one of the most entertaining unhealthy couples to watch.

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3. Belle and Rumplestiltskin from Once Upon a Time.
Okay, let me start out by saying that I really am pulling for these two to end up together. I think Belle is exactly what Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin needs to stay grounded and not let his powers overcome him. However, in its current state, the relationship could arguably use some improving. While Belle remains supportive of Rumplestiltskin and committed to making him a better man, Rumplestiltskin struggles to put his love for her in front of everything else. Once he finally changes for the better and isn’t so obsessed with making deals with every single fairy tale character who ever existed, I believe that he and Belle will make a great couple.

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4. President Fitzgerald Grant and Olivia Pope from Scandal.
Olivia Pope, the former communications director for the White House, has an affair with Fitzgerald Grant during his presidential campaign and long afterward. Although the President is married to someone else and expecting his third or fourth child, he just can’t quit Olivia. The two are so drawn to each other (although, to this day, I’m unclear on why) that every scene between them is extremely emotional and intense. Every time Olivia tries to break things off, Fitz does something crazy to win her back – for example, having his Secret Service men kidnap Liv in the woods so the two of them can have some alone time. His need to be with Olivia borders on controlling, and the fact that their relationship must be kept secret is enough to make it unhealthy. (Don’t forget – his wife is pregnant!)

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5. Victoria Henley and her mother from Cycle 19 of America’s Next Top Model.
As a huge fan of Top Model, I couldn’t let this one slip by! Victoria is a homeschooled girl who now attends online college, and she has never really been apart from her mother. Immediately in the season, she talks about her devotion to her mother, as well as the idea that she never wants to pursue a romantic relationship with a guy in the foreseeable future because her relationship with her mother is fulfilling enough. Now, I love my Mom and talk to her about nearly everything, but Victoria takes it to a whole new level, crying out “Momma!” and bursting into tears every time she rings up her mother on the phone. This attachment is a little scary, considering this girl is getting into her twenties and hasn’t formed a relationship of any kind with anyone else.

What TV relationships do you think are the most unhealthy?

The Weekend Five: Brutally Honest Reality TV Shows

As I’ve mentioned in several of my previous posts, reality television is my guilty pleasure. Although I love high-brow entertainment as much as the next college-educated girl, I can’t help but become engrossed in some of the more ridiculous shows that have graced our pop culture, as well. Because of this, today’s Weekend Five will focus on some of the shows that don’t technically exist but should. Feel free to add your own in the comments section below!

The Weekend Five: Brutally Honest Reality TV Shows

1. Self-Entitled Rich Girls Trying To Take Themselves Seriously.
This show would feature a fashionable heiress just trying to make her way in the world by starting her own clothing line. With a football-player boyfriend and a miniature dog she can carry in her purse, the heiress spends her free time shopping, drinking coffee and complaining to her friends about how her boyfriend still hasn’t proposed. The show’s real breakout star, however, is her gay best friend whose snarky responses are the main reason to keep watching.

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2. True Life: I Was Irrelevant Two Seasons Ago.
This is the show that keeps on giving. The stars? Oh, just a group of seven or eight familiar but useless reality TV personalities who stopped being interesting a long time ago. Why do they still have a show? I guess someone is still around to watch it.

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3. Living Vicariously Through My Five-Year-Old Daughter.
Each episode features a mother with a “talented” five-year-old who excels in some area, mostly because of her mother’s pushing. The moms are a colorful group of competitive, washed out individuals who claim to be the authority on their daughters’ areas of interest (pageants, dance, cheerleading, you name it!). Watch as the moms get into catfights and exploit their children for money. Warning: do not look at this show as a how-to guide for parenting.

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4. Moral Degradation and the Rise of the Snooki.
This documentary series explores the downfall of 21st century society and its inundation of fist pumps, big hair and gratuitous partying. Narrated by Morgan Freeman.

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5. I Didn’t Know I Was a Pregnant Teenage Hoarder.
Experience the drama that ensues when a teenager learns that not only has her collecting become a serious problem, but she also happens to be pregnant! Watch as she goes through therapy, raises a child without the help of the father (Kevin Federline) and graces the covers of Us Weekly.

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What brutally honest reality television shows would you like to see?

The Friday Five: Television’s Most Notorious Villains

All our lives, we have heard stories of good versus evil — not just in our childhood books of fairy tales and our adolescent superhero comic books, but also in our contemporary literature, our favorite films and of course our must-watch television shows. This week, we will explore the darker side of some of today’s hit TV series and the villains who wreak havoc for our beloved heroes.

The Friday Five: Television’s Most Notorious Villains

1. The Evil Queen/Regina from Once Upon A Time.
Pictured left, the Evil Queen is the epitome of villainous. On this thrilling fairy tale TV show, in which all of our beloved (and not so beloved) fairy tale characters have been transferred into our world and have forgotten their former lives, the Evil Queen (known in our world as Mayor Regina Mills) does everything she can to manipulate others and maintain power. As the Queen, tricks a lovesick genie into assassinating her husband, takes advantage of a “heartless” huntsman, and kills her own father in order to curse the entire Enchanted Forest. Meanwhile, as her real world counterpart Regina, she schemes against those who pose a threat to her title, meddles in the relationships of the various characters, and uses magic to murder the town Sheriff (who rejected her in favor of her arch-nemesis, Emma Swan).

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2. James Woods from Family Guy.
Note: I am not talking about the actor, James Woods, but rather the character he voices on TV. Although Quahog, the town in which Family Guy takes place, has named quite a few of its landmarks after him, Woods is known to cause trouble every time he comes to town. Whether he’s stealing Peter’s identity or ruining Brian’s television show concept, James Woods is crude, selfish and just plain mean — which always leads to excellent television! Even after a previous episode killed the character off, James Woods has returned and will likely appear in future episodes, creating the same kind of mischief he is usually known for.

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3. Lemon Breeland from Hart of Dixie.
The seemingly perfect Southern Belle, Lemon may consider herself sweet as pie, but she usually comes across as demanding and conniving. Lemon obsesses over wedding plans and ruling the town of Bluebell, Alabama, in every society group imaginable, often ignoring her own fiance (the handsome lawyer George Tucker) and bullying the new-girl-in-town, Dr. Zoe Hart. From hazing Zoe in an initiation process to forbidding her friends from getting pregnant until she does, Lemon is known for becoming unhinged, especially when she doesn’t get what she wants. Although the show tries to show a more sympathetic side through flashbacks and emotional scenes, Lemon is usually portrayed as difficult to get along with, unauthentic, dramatic and completely unlikable. Don’t let the floral dresses and affected speech fool you — her ‘Mean Girls’ style makes her just as villainous as the rest of them!

4. The Situation from Jersey Shore.
Mike Sorrentino, better known as “The Situation,” has always prided himself on being a tough guy. However, throughout the multiple seasons of Jersey Shore (about five too many!), he has established several different roles and characters for himself. He has briefly been the sweetheart, when he seemed to genuinely have feelings for Sammi in the first season, and he often refers to himself as more of a father figure to the rest of the house, particularly in the second season. Mike has also revealed a more somber side, especially toward the end of his days in Italy, during which he separated himself from the group and lamented the fact that no one liked him. The Situation is known to become violent and manipulative, and often threatens in the confessionals that his evil side is about to come out. Always looking for trouble to stir up, The Situation and his multiple personalities could top this list as all five TV villains.

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5. Courtney from The Bachelor.
Perhaps my greatest inspiration for writing this post, Courtney is constantly in the middle of feuds with the rest of the girls (although, to be honest, who can blame her? They’re all competing for the same man’s affections), hogging attention with Ben the Bachelor on group dates, and saying things on confessional like “I want to rip her head off and verbally assault her.” This is the only season of The Bachelor that I have actually sat down to watch, but from the very beginning it was easy to see that she was going to be around for a long time. Why? Her presence in the house provides the perfect drama for serious viewers who believe that the show is actually about true love. After all, how could Ben not see through her crazy eyes and the fact that the other girls are so concerned about her behavior? Personally, I love seeing Courtney stick around, because it means we get to see her say or do something else that’s completely insane.

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Who are your favorite TV villains?

The Friday Five: ANTM Contestants

Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I’m a reality TV junkie. I could justify my viewership by saying that I watch the shows for the social commentary, but that wouldn’t be entirely true — as much as I love a good discussion about the underlying themes of reality television, I also love indulging in the guilty pleasure of watching something completely mindless and ridiculous and fun. For example, I’m not exactly an aspiring model, but I have certainly wasted weekends watching America’s Next Top Model marathons.

After years of careful viewing, of course, I’ve started to group the contestants into categories. These categories are even more apparent in this season’s all-star cycle, in which Tyra Banks brings back contestants from past cycles to compete for some epic challenge that escapes my memory. This week, I will report my Top Model findings, which I’ve gotten down to a science. (Feel free to add your own in the comments section below!)

The Friday Five: ANTM Contestants

1. The Girl Who Rests on “Pretty.”
While most of the other contestants have particularly unusual bone structure, this girl is generally the prom queen all grown up, the girl whose looks most viewers would kill for. No matter how proficient she is in modeling, however, she is usually criticized for being “too commercial” and being appropriate only for catalog. This girl may progress somewhat throughout the competition, but she never wins; Tyra & Co. will be sure to dismiss her because of her traditional beauty, but they will claim to do so because they find her too complacent and unadventurous in her film.

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2. The Real Girl.
(Not to be confused with this kind of Real Girl.) The drama in the house usually originates with this girl. The Real Girl tells it like it is, and while some people find her funny and candid, others butt heads with her early on. As the ANTM-equivalent of The Situation, the Real Girl drives the show’s ratings because of the catty arguments she gets into and the occasional hair-pulling that ultimately ensues. She usually dismisses other members of the house as “fake” and declares herself to be one of the few “real” (if not the only) contestants left.

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3. The Sweet Southern Girl.
In contrast to the Real Girl, the Sweet Southern Girl means no harm. There’s a fight in the house? She’ll climb up to the top bunk and watch quietly from afar, thank you very much. This girl generally has no enemies and gains a lot of fan favoritism, but her drama-free demeanor usually keeps her from the prize.

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4. The Quirky Girl.
The Quirky Girl can come in all shapes and sizes, but modeling isn’t usually her first choice of career. Almost always, she has worked behind the camera before, but she usually has a variety of other interests that will completely creep out the other contestants. (Just think of Broken Baby Doll Allison and her hobby of painting people with nosebleeds!) Nevertheless, this girl usually manages to avoid a lot of the drama in the house as well and usually captures our interest for at least a few episodes. A subcategory of Quirky Girl is Androgynous Girl, a trait that Tyra constantly claims to value but usually doesn’t keep around in the competition for long.

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5. The Girl With A Platform.
The Girl With A Platform may come into the competition wanting to become a high fashion model and build her portfolio, but she has another goal in mind as well — raise awareness of a social or health issue so that viewers will notice. Sometimes the girls are edited this way, but Tyra is a sucker for a Girl With A Platform and will keep her around for as long as possible (regardless of total performance in the competition). Whether this girl differentiates herself by her weight, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status or other trait she believes defines her, viewers will constantly see her in the confessionals talking about how much the trait impacts her life.

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What categories of contestants do you often notice on America’s Next Top Model?