Last year, I wrote a blog post about the worst boyfriends in history – and I’m not talking about my ex who looked like Count Chocula. From Henry VIII (who executed more than one wife and invented a religion simply so he could get a divorce) to Vlad the Impaler (who has the word “impaler” in his name!), the list tackled five male historical figures who were not only ruthless and manipulative, but who would also make horrible boyfriends. Did your boyfriend forget your anniversary? Well, he’s a saint next to Emperor Nero.
Of course, I couldn’t put together a “worst boyfriends” list without posting a list of the worst girlfriends in history as well! Because of women’s roles over the past few centuries, this was a much harder list to create. A lot of the women who were deemed “crazy” by society were actually victims of infidelity and physical/mental abuse, so there was a lot more to the story than met the eye. However, a few of history’s leading ladies still stand out as pretty bad girlfriends/wives.
Dust off those history books, kids. You’re about to get schooled.
The Weekend Five: Worst Girlfriends in History
1. Elizabeth Bathory.
Nobody wants to bring home a serial killer, and that’s exactly what this Hungarian countess was. Over the years, she tortured and brutally murdered hundreds of young servant girls. Some stories even suggest that she drank and bathed in their blood to steal their beauty and youth. Although those stories are probably just a myth, Lady Dracula was not someone you’d want to spend time alone with.
*
2. Mary I of England.
The daughter of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon, this queen burned so many people at the stake in the name of “religion” that history has nicknamed her “Bloody Mary.” Often dubbed one of the most evil women in history, she exiled and executed hundreds of Protestants simply because they were Protestant. This was one religious extremist you wouldn’t want to introduce to your parents (and believe me, I’ve dated my share of religious extremists).
*
3. Elizabeth I of England.
We can’t forget Henry VIII’s other daughter, who also eventually became the Queen of England. Unlike her half-sister, Elizabeth never married, though she did entertain offers from several suitors throughout her life. It turned out that Elizabeth was in love with Robert Dudley, her friend since childhood who happened to already be married. Over the years, she considered many proposals, but ultimately turned them all down and ruled alone. She was a powerful queen whose reign ushered in a golden age. However, she would not be one of history’s best girlfriends even if she did decide to settle down, as it was clear she would always carry a torch for Robert Dudley.
*
4. Mary, Queen of Scots.
Mary always reminded me of one of those girls who says “I hate drama,” but always seems to attract it. After the death of her first husband Francis, Mary was married to her first cousin Lord Darnley. However, she most likely had an affair with her private secretary, who was later murdered by Darnley and others. Soon after, Darnley was murdered – probably by James Hepburn, the Earl of Bothwell, with whom Mary conspired. As if this wasn’t soap opera enough, Mary and the Earl of Bothwell then married. Mary, Queen of Scots, is one of history’s worst girlfriends in part because of the men she was drawn to (sorry, Mary, it happens to the best of us). If you were to begin courting her, you might want to make sure there wasn’t another jealous guy out there looking to kill you.
*
5. Eve.
According to some religions, Eve was the first woman on Earth, created as a companion for Adam. After listening to a trouble-making serpent who probably was getting bored in the garden, Eve ate the forbidden apple from the tree of knowledge, and soon she and Adam were evicted from Eden. The worst punishment of all? God decided to make childbirth unbearably painful. Eve ends up on the “worst girlfriends in history” list for taking advice from a serpent with legs (aren’t they creepy enough without legs?) instead of using critical thinking skills to weigh the pros and cons, and ultimately getting herself and Adam kicked out of paradise.
*
Who would you consider one of the worst girlfriends in history? Sound off in the comments below.
Over the last year, I’ve opened up about my health and weight loss efforts 
Of course, we all know that losing weight usually comes down to one thing: burning more calories than we are taking in. However, we tend to disagree on 
Tiny Meals Diet: Eat twelve 100-calorie meals per day, because everyone knows your metabolism speeds up when you’re scrambling in the kitchen to come up with twelve tiny meals.
If It Fits Your Macros Diet: Eat pizza and donuts all day in accordance with how much you exercise. If your macros don’t add up by the end of the day, grab a spoonful of peanut butter.
Link-Bait Diet: This diet pulls you in with a catchy headline or video that you can relate to. “DO YOU TRY EVERY DIET OUT THERE AND STILL STRUGGLE TO LOSE WEIGHT?” they ask. Why yes, you think to yourself, that’s totally me. You click the link and get sucked into an hour-long video that promises to give you five weight-loss tools that will help you obtain the body of your dreams. But first – the narrator says, “You’re probably wondering why I’m qualified to talk about this.” No I’m not. “Well, I used to be just like you… [cue sob story about the narrator’s weight problems and how depressed he/she was].” I don’t care, just tell me the five tools! “Before I tell you the five tools, let me tell you a little more about how insecure you must be feeling.” An hour later, you have learned nothing about how to lose weight, but you have been offered a special discount if you act now and purchase these diet pills.
As someone who was born in 1990 and lived through most of that decade, I will always have a soft spot for the 90s and the music, movies and TV shows that came with it. Of course, the subject always tends to be 
2. If you want to be someone’s lover, you have to get with their friends.
5. Don’t ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend.
For many of us, Disney’s animated movies were a huge part of our childhood. Twenty years later, it can be fun to watch these movies as adults and relive that simpler time in our lives.
2. Alice in Wonderland (1951)
4. Sleeping Beauty (1959)
The year is 2015, and now, more than ever, we turn to social media to unveil our darkest emotions, our sharp wit, and our longing for relevance in an increasingly impersonal world. (We also turn to social media to look at cute puppy pictures and to cyber-stalk our friends from high school.) Of course, the more we share on social media, the more predictable our posts have become.
After a fun-filled trip to Epcot last weekend, it’s safe to say that I have Disney on the brain! A child of the 1990s, I loved picking up a new Disney movie in its colorful plastic case and playing it in our VCR (which had to be replaced, after one of our Disney movies got stuck in there). Even in my twenties, I’m quick to pop in a Disney movie whenever I’m 
1. Cinderella (1950)
3. The Little Mermaid (1989)
5. Mulan (1998)
Theme of the Year: Faux Outrage.
Celebrity Makeover of the Year: Taylor Swift.
Superfood of the Year: Kale.
Clothing Trend of the Year: Crop Tops & Dresses.
1. The Foodie.
2. The Technologically Savvy Animal.
3. The #TurntUp One.
4. The Whimsical One.
5. The Cosmopolitan.
I usually like to avoid discussing religion on this blog, because I think the topic is completely irrelevant to my usual content. Readers come here for college tips and ridiculous lists, not for a play-by-play of my thoughts on life, death and the possibility of a higher power.
In the age of social media, we find ourselves rubbing virtual shoulders with people we like and people we don’t like. Despite the fact that we choose the “friends” we follow, we still run into a few bad apples who slipped through our newsfeeds or timelines (which, sadly, 
2. The Salesman.
4. The Perpetual Smart-Ass.