The Friday Five: Ways to Avoid Drama

When we think back to middle school, not many of us think of sunshine and rainbows. Instead, we remember a time of mean girls and boys, exclusion, awkward stages and more gossip than we ever knew what to do with. Our biggest known fear? The drama. And yet, many others seemed to thrive on it, as if it contained some sort of elixir that kept them alive.

When I talk to several of my friends in college today, the general consensus seems to be that middle school was possibly the worst time in any of our lives. Sometimes we still feel the pain associated with the cruelty we witnessed, and we are thankful that people are usually not so evil as they have gotten older.

However, even in college, we can still see our peers reverting to their old ways from time to time. The drama re-emerges, and we find ourselves back in the middle school cafeteria once again, debating if we should retaliate or shrivel back into nonexistence.

Today’s post gives us some advice for how to deal with said drama and some ways to avoid it in the first place. Let’s try to remember that as we become adults, we should act like adults as well. πŸ™‚

The Friday Five: Ways to Avoid Drama

1. Figure out the culprits and steer clear.
We all have our moments. At times, we might not make the most appropriate decisions or do the nicest things, and we expect our friends to be supportive ofΒ Β us when we aren’t our absolute best. However, when we find that we always have that one friend who comes in expecting us to fix everything that goes wrong, it’s time to let go. Stay away from the ones who constantly pull you down with them.

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2. Delete your Formspring!
While the Internet can be a wonderful thing, our newfound anonymity isn’t always the most beneficial. People can be especially mean when there are no in-your-face consequences, and it can sometimes lead to added distress and frustration. A group of my friends and I were receiving extremely personal questions that someone in our building had to have asked us, and after a while, I decided that instead of trying to figure out who it was or instead of getting annoyed with them, I would just delete the Formspring. If people legitimately wanted to know something about me, all they had to do was ask in person!

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3. Avoid gossip.
It mayΒ sound like a simple (obvious) concept — and it is — but many times, we don’t follow this little rule. Someone wrongs us, and we tell the world: friends, family, classmates, random people in the grocery store. While it’s important to have a strong support network and you should be able to confide in those you are closest with, it is also advisable not to be the one constantly saying negative things about others. Not only will it get back to them (and trust me, it will), but also it will make you look like the kind of person that no one wants to be around.

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4. Be careful who you confide in.
This tip really goes hand-in-hand with the last one. If you are going to say something, don’t say it to the wrong people. You don’t want to entrust your innermost secrets to the least trustworthy of people, because there’s always the chance that they will let them slip. Think about the book/show Gossip Girl – the characters constantly reveal their secrets to people they shouldn’t trust, and these secrets wind up on Gossip Girl’s website and text message alerts. Moral of the story? Choose your friends wisely.

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5. Spend less time on Facebook.
While all of us may be guilty of Facebook creeping from time to time, it is important that we get off the computer and out into the real world. Constantly looking at your crush’s new girlfriend’s Facebook page is not going to make you any happier about the situation, and reading too much into anyone’s status is just a mistake. You don’t need a million reminders of the bad things in your social circle, and logging off of Facebook after a while allows us to live our lives without worrying as much about what’s going on in everyone else’s.

6 thoughts on “The Friday Five: Ways to Avoid Drama

  1. Noelle G. says:

    I’m also a college sophomore, and I remain stunned by how many people have refused to let go of their middle school/high school immaturity. Gossip is a huge one…and to be honest, having a Formspring is just setting yourself up for trouble. I believe I wrote an article about that at one point!

    This is an excellent blog! I’ve been on campus for about a year and a half now, but articles like these are always helpful, no matter how accustomed to college life you are.

    • Valerie says:

      I can’t agree with you more! In the past few months, I feel like I have witnessed more drama than I did in both middle and high school combined.

      Formspring is definitely just asking for it. I didn’t realize that right away… I made one for the fun of it, and then I realized that some people seemed to know way more about me than they let on, and there were plenty of other issues with it among my friends as well. Finally I deleted it, and that definitely reduces the drama.

      Thank you so much for your kind comments! πŸ™‚

  2. Brittney says:

    omg! This has to be the most ah-mazing blog post ever! I cant beleive i found this, these are very helpfull. I am in middle shool currently myself and it is filled with everything you talked about, luckliy i havent had much drama yet but it seems to happen to everyone. So this was very informative and now i know what to do if i do run in to trouble. Thanks

    • Valerie says:

      You are too sweet! Thank you so much for commenting πŸ™‚ It’s good that you have already avoided a lot of the drama… it is so unnecessary! Try to avoid it as much as you can. I hope these tips are helpful! Best of luck with middle school πŸ™‚

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